When Did This Become Real?

Less than a week before I embark on this journey. Didn't feel real before. Now it's starting to.

And I'm scared.

The thought of getting on a plane (alone), flying to and having long layovers in foreign countries (alone), and not knowing anyone when I arrive (still alone)...well, it gives me anxiety.   

I'm used to having someone guiding, leading, telling me what to do (I was the baby of the family for awhile, now the middle).  While God will be with me, speaking in human terms, I'll be on my own this time.  I cannot pass responsibility on another person; I have to bear the load. I fear a lack of personal competency, possibility of danger, and threat of loneliness. 

Today I jumped around in the book of Hebrews. Here are a few phrases that reminded me of God's faithfulness: 

"I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." 

"The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear."

This final one really resonated with me, in that it promised that while I may not be qualified, Jesus will equip me with everything I need.  All I have to do is depend on him.

Now may the God of peace-who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood-may he equip you with all you need for doing his will.  May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him.  All glory to him forever and ever! Amen. Hebrews 13: 20-21

 A couple items on my prayer list:

Someone to connect with/talk to on the flights 

A true friend while in Zambia

Bombs away.